Communication is the thing that looms close to the top of the list problems in every crumbling relationships or marriage. It’s the compatibility of words and actions which convey a total message.
For communication to become successful, it has to create an intended response in the other person. In other words, if you’re communicating with somebody, for it to be successful, they need to do, think or feel the way that you want them to do, think or feel.
When you communicate with someone else, you want a particular response and you want them to do something with the information that you give them and you want to see a change in some way.
How to create great communication?
It’s not about what you say, it’s about what the other person hears.
If the response you get from the other person is not what you intended, then the thing is that they didn’t hear what you intended them to hear. It’s really an important thing to realize about successful communication, which is actually your responsibility. If the other person didn’t get the message that you intended and you didn’t get the outcome, then you simply haven’t done it right or you haven’t given them the right message. Therefore the solution which is to get the right outcome really lies with you.
You have to get your spouse to want to communicate with you.
In other words, 90% of great communication is simply the willingness and desire of the other person to understand. If you think back to the early days of your relationship, wasn’t it true that your spouse wanted to communicate with you? They were open to you and they enjoyed finding out what you wanted. If you said something in a certain way and they didn’t really understand or took it the wrong way, you both subconsciously really put in an effort to make sure that the other person understood you. In a nutshell, there must be willingness and enthusiasm if you like for the other person to understand you.
When a relationship is not going well, people don’t want to communicate. Maybe you’re in that situation with your spouse. Maybe you want to talk about your marriage and talk about your problems.
Get your head back into the right place.
It’s all about creating an environment where there’s a willingness to communicate. Again, back to the early days of your relationship, you probably hadn’t done any courses in communication or hadn’t read any books about communication. Most people do those things when communication has gone wrong, they want to know to fix them. But, you were able to communicate naturally without knowing all these techniques because you had your head in the right place. You must create an environment where communication for your partner is not a choir but something she does out of love for you.
Let not be the main reason for the separation is communication. Many men and women stay together locked in their own silent chambers which can’t be penetrated because one or both, do not communicate. Why not start a new day? As communication is the key to a growing relationship, nurture it. There can be no real oneness in a marriage without communication.